Present Perfect

"Welcome to pre-9/11 New York City, when the world was unaware of the profound political and cultural shifts about to occur, and an entire generation was thirsty for more than the post–alternative pop rock plaguing MTV. In the cafés, clubs, and bars of the Lower East Side there convened a group of outsiders and misfits full of ambition and rock star dreams."

Music was the main reason I wanted to move to New York - I wanted to walk the same streets that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the National, Interpol, the Walkmen, the Antlers and Sonic Youth were walking. In my mind they'd meet up and have drinks with each other at the same bars, live close to each other, and I'd just run into them all the time myself. I'm not sure that romantic version of New York ever existed. Paul Banks used to live on a corner inbetween where I live and where my kids go to school now, but that is two decades ago (though for a while, we shared a hairdresser). On one of my first visits to New York before moving here, I had a great chat with Thurston Moore at a café right before taking the taxi back to the airport. And that's as close as I got to living my dream.

But now the documentary "Meet me in the Bathroom" (based on the book of the same name) shows that version of New York that only existed for a brief moment in time.

"Meet Me In The Bathroom — ??inspired by Lizzy Goodman’s book of the same name — chronicles the last great romantic age of rock ’n’ roll through the lens of era-defining bands."

Read the book, watch the documentary (available on Google Play among other platforms), or listen to the Spotify playlist Meet Me in the Bathroom: Every Song From The Book In Chronological Order. For bonus points, listen to Losing My Edge (every band mentioned in the LCD Soundsystem song in the order they're mentioned)

Taken from The Playlist - a curated perspective on the intersection of form and content (subscribe, discuss)

"Welcome to pre-9/11 New York City, when the world was unaware of the profound political and cultural shifts about to occur, and an entire generation was thirsty for more than the post–alternative pop...

"I have hands but I am doing all I can to have daily independence so I can’t be ‘all hands’ at work. I can share ideas, show up, and ask for help when I physically can’t use my hands. Belonging means folks with one hand, no hand and limited hands are valued in the workplace." - Dr. Akilah Cadet

If you've been wondering why over the past few months you're seeing a lot more "All Teams" meetings on your calendar, it's because language is ever evolving with the time, and people are starting to become more aware and replace ableist language.

Read more:

• The harmful ableist language you unknowingly use
• Work Up Your Courage For a Redo, and Other Actions for Allies (item 2)

If your team still has "all hands" meetings, propose a more creative name, or default to "all teams" instead. Take some time to familiarize yourself with other ableist language and alternatives.

Taken from The Playlist - a curated perspective on the intersection of form and content (subscribe, discuss)

"I have hands but I am doing all I can to have daily independence so I can’t be ‘all hands’ at work. I can share ideas, show up, and ask...

The number one question I've gotten in the past week has been "how can I support people affected by the layoff?"

First, some general advice:

• For everyone, remember to "comfort in, dump out" - vent your frustrations to people less affected, support those who are more affected than you.
• To support Xooglers, don't ask "how can I help?" as that places more burden on them. Offer specific ways you can help them - "Can I write you a Linkedin recommendation? Can I connect you with this person I know at this company who's hiring?". People are affected disproportionally, and if you want to prioritize your help, consider starting with the people on a visa who are now on a tight deadline to find a new sponsor or face leaving the country.
• To support your colleagues still here, remember we're not all having the same experience. In particular, people outside of the US will be in limbo for weeks or months to come. People can be anywhere on a spectrum of "long time Googler, first mass layoff" to "I've had to go through worse". Don't assume, lead with curiosity, and listen.

Some resources people shared you might find helpful:

• For Xooglers:
  • Non confidential resources for folks who were let go
  • xoogler.co: a group of Google Alumni and current googlers

Taken from The Playlist - a curated perspective on the intersection of form and content (subscribe, discuss)

The number one question I've gotten in the past week has been "how can I support people affected by the layoff?" First, some general advice: For everyone, remember to "comfort...

"Even the most junior SRE on call starts having director authority. [..] There is a power in that relationship that SRE does have when they think something is in danger. And it's a power we have to be careful not to misuse. But it's important, because that's our job."

Macey is the guest on Episode 1 of SRE Prodcast, Google's podcast about Site Reliability Engineering. She goes in-depth on some of the core tenets of SRE, including risk, on-call, toil, design involvement, and more. (As a side note, I'm reasonably certain that I'm not the entertaining Belgian that was causing her team failure loops, but I'm too afraid to ask.)

The whole series is worth a listen, but just like the podcast itself - start with macey's advice.

"My definition of toil: toil is boring or repetitive work that does not gain you a permanent improvement."

Taken from The Playlist - a curated perspective on the intersection of form and content (subscribe, discuss)

"Even the most junior SRE on call starts having director authority. [..] There is a power in that relationship that SRE does have when they think something is in danger. And...

"if you’re going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn’t, don’t say it. Don’t, for example, give advice."

Susan Silk's Ring Theory is a helpful model to navigate what not to say during times of grief and traumatic events.

Picture a center ring, and inside it the people most affected by what's going on. Picture a larger circle around it, with inside it the people closest to those in the center. Repeat outwards.

The person in the center ring can say anything they want to anyone, anywhere.
Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in the larger outside rings. Otherwise, you support and comfort.

Now, consider where in this diagram you are, and where the people you are talking to are.

"Comfort IN, dump OUT."

This model applies in other situations - for example, managers are better off complaining to their own managers or peers, while supporting their own reports and absorbing their complaints with empathy and compassion.

Taken from The Playlist - a curated perspective on the intersection of form and content (subscribe, discuss)

"if you’re going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn’t, don’t say it. Don’t,...