Present Perfect

Though I am at heart a cheerful person and an optimist I have a very big capacity for melancholy. A big part of me wants to be back in the last year of high school without any real cares in the world. Another big part wants to be back in university, celebrating the simple pleasures of life, having incredible amounts of free time during the day to work on whatever interests me. I wish I was interested back then in the things that interest me today... Or, I wish I was still interested in what interested me back then. Some book I'm reading referenced i, the imaginary unit, and I had a hard time remembering all the things mathematicians used i for. I remember i rocked my mathematical beliefs when I first ran into it at around sixteen. It sounds nerdish, but I've always enjoyed learning new things I could manage to understand.

And, let's face it - the days where I went out to party three times a week on average, until four in the morning or later, are pretty much over as well :) You get older, you lose immediate contact with friends, you do less crazy stuff, you learn less new things that stay with you forever.

But it also makes you appreciate more those precious few things that manage to stick around for a lifetime and counting.

This sounds heavier than I'd like it to be, so to offset that : I live in interesting times, I love my job, I live in a great city, and I love my girlfriend a lot. I am happy. It's just that being happy becomes harder to achieve or maintain as you get older :)

Oh simple thing Where have you gone I'm getting old and I need something to rely on Though I am at heart a cheerful person and an optimist I have...